#225) "I'm In" by The Kinleys - Man, I really miss The Kinleys. Whatever happened to the smokin' hot twins (Heather and Jennifer) with the smokin' hot harmonies? One minute they were putting out an album, then a second, holding their own on the charts and in the minds of country music fans against Shania and Jo Dee and Brooks and Dunn and Faith and Martina...and then they were gone. Just like that. Just about forgotten.
I love their voices, together and apart (but especially together), and it's really a shame they didn't keep going. In terms of the music they were making and the manner in which they were making it, I think they could have etched out a solid spot in the annals of country music. I mean, I guess they did, because here I am talking about them nearly 20 years later...but am I mostly talking to myself? Are The Kinleys largely forgotten? Possibly.
If it's true, then it's too bad. They shouldn't now be a mere footnote to the tail end of 1990s country. The good news, I guess, is it would seem the choice was theirs to walk away, and they made it. Sometimes stardom isn't for everyone. You really can never tell what's going to happen, and there's no guarantee you'll ever know the actual reasons something did.
"I'm In" was written by Radney Foster and Georgia Middleman. It was recorded by Foster in 1999, and just a few years ago, covered by Keith Urban. But it's a uniquely female song...or at least, The Kinley's version (2000) makes it so. It wasn't even the biggest hit of their too-short career, but for my money it's one of the best ballads in country. A song that really deserves the description: hauntingly beautiful
"Baby, come on in, the water's fine / I'll be right here, you take your time..."
#226) "I'm Trying" by Trace Adkins - A big man with a big stage presence, Adkin's persona can't help be kind of a walking caricature. That isn't to say it isn't real, or honest, just that too much of anything is too much. But he's got a sense of humor, doesn't take everything, or himself, too seriously, which goes a long way toward making "too much of anything" palatable.
Written by Jeffrey Steele, Chris Wallin and Anthony Smith, 2001's "I'm Tryin'" was sort of a different musical path for Adkins, an artist who has never gotten too weepy or sappy in his songs. Like Hank Williams Jr., he's mostly rocked the "good timin' good ol' boy" thing, the antithesis of, say, Randy Travis or Vince Gill, or any other silky country "crooner". He keeps things upbeat, always moving forward, charging ahead. With songs like "Honkytonk Badonkadonk", "Brown Chicken, Brown Cow", and "Chrome" (each an unapologetic rallying cry for a lifestyle), here is an artist who marinates in his own bottled brand of (southern ) testosterone.
There's nothing wrong with that. Truth be told, I really like "Chrome", because I really like chrome. It's a redneck part of my psyche, I guess: you just cannot have enough chrome on any vehicle...well, the right vehicle, at least. Might not be the best option on a BMW or a Mercedes, but on the sidesteps, stacks, grills, flaps, forks and roll bars of anything American made? Load it on. Load it on. It'll only get sexier.
But I digress.
"I'm Tryin'" is about a divorced man struggling to cope with his post-marriage life and an ex whose vigilance taking care of herself and (presumably) their kids, has him working overtime and trying not to crack under the pressure. That's not necessarily a new theme in country music, but "I'm Tryin'" digs a little deeper, speaks to the specific struggles men face - in situations like that, and life in general.
To that end, the second verse of the song is especially potent. Almost every boy, at least in American society, no matter what kind of family he grows up in or where - north, south, east or west - is told how men are supposed to act, and perhaps more importantly not act. A rigorously prescribed code of conduct is spelled out early on, by fathers, teachers, coaches, pastors, Scout leaders, mentors, other kids on the playground, even by the women in their young lives.
And again, on paper at least, there's nothing wrong with any of it. But the tenets surrounding the concept of "being a man" can lead to daunting pressure in adulthood, pressure to provide, to perform, to never fail, to keep that code of conduct in place, even after it's revealed that life is complicated, messy, downright shitty at times....not at all what you expected it would be when you were a kid.
I am in no way an expert (not pretending to be, just thinking...), but I'd venture the type of social problems generally associated with men - repression, anger, hyper-competitiveness, uncommunicativeness, etc. - might in large part be the result of how we raise our boys, what they're told from an early age is expected of them.
To be clear, some of it is biological. I'm not big on a three-day gully washout of emotion myself. I don't want to spend all night talking about how I feel, nor will I ever sit down to pee (until time and fate make it necessary). In other words, there will always be (and should be) differences between men and women, sometimes causing tension, yes, but also keeping things interesting. Women overthink, men don't think enough, they just react. I get it. Most couples know how to strike a balance.
But repressing everything, refusing to embrace the full spectrum of emotions each and every one of us is outfitted with at birth, just because that's "how men are" or that's "what men do" (or don't do), is dysfunctional. Especially in difficult times.
Women have their pressures too, of course. No question, they are the more disadvantaged of the genders. But men are expected to take it on the chin without complaint, and just accept it as their lot. In many cases, they are led to gauge their manhood, their worth as a human being, not so much by what they can contribute, but what they can put up with. That's almost guaranteed to lead to problems.
I'm not going to gray-fade these lyrics. I think they should be easily read.
"I remember Daddy saying keep your eye on the ball, run like hell, play to win, get up when you fall...I'm tryin' / Don't say nothing that you can't take back, never do anything you might regret, no don't do that...Daddy, I'm tryin' / Know the difference between heaven and hell, go easy on the bottle, be hard on yourself....and I know he meant well...but all I can do is all I can do..."
